No, not really

Date fished 22/6/2026

9.30am until tooth hurty pm

GCSE's completed and one more day of holiday for me was a perfect mix for me to take Rupe to the Swale to see if he could catch his first barbel.

We headed to Topcliffe as we could not leave at the  crack of dawn and he had a dentist appointment (brace tighten) at 4.45pm which could be on our way back North. 

First swim

Second swim

The weir swim looked good, sounded noisy and ate two swim feeders in two casts! We moved downstream 100m.

This swim seemed better, we cast our ledgerd pellets just in the flow and waited. 

I like fishing with pellets, they are:

Easy

Cheap

Last ages

Stay on the hook

Different sizes, flavours

Child friendly

I don't like some boilies that I have. I won them years ago and have never really used them. I take them with me on many trips and they come home again. They smell like vomit to me. I decided they were going in the river or in the bin!! 

Suddenly, Rupe's rod wiggled and I let him know, just incase he didn't see it through his fringe. He was in. A cute little chub his prize.

I cast too close to the far bank and lost more tackle. 

Today's mission was to hopefully get Rupe his first barbel, so I changed my rig to a vomit boilie on a hybrid feeder, no respectful barbel would get caught on that! 

A missed bite on that, it must work. I kept with it. 

My second of the week (ish). Big smiles all round! On the vomit too!!

Another angler came to fish this swim as I was releasing the barbel, he warned us of some snags. We had none in this swim so far. 

We reeled in. Snag! 

Another lost feeder. Am going through feeders quicker than............ (fill your own answer in here)

The sun burst through the clouds and although we liked the warmth, the fishing died. We watched birds, river critters and a little mouse having his lunch.

It was lovely to spend time with the boy. 

Oh, the title. I nearly forgot. Speaking of things that annoy me. Ask my son any question and his reply is usually "No, not really".

It doesn't even make sense!! 

Love him though!! 

What is this hair!?

Earl of Northumberland

Date fished 16th of course!! 

7.10am until 2.10pm

Forgetting a few hours after work for the elusive Tees barbel on a September evening, I had not fished with Ellis since 17th June 2025!!

Putting that right this week, we started on the Swale. I have joined Leeds, a large and great club. Today we tried their Topcliffe flavour.

Coming from Northumberland, this is why I felt at home

Ellis arrived early and secured a double swim. Today was another social with rods. In hindsight, I could of left the rods at home as they didn't catch today. However  I thoroughly enjoyed the day on a great new stretch! 

I walked it just before we left, and that definitely had me thinking about another trip, soon! 

We ledgered every bait we had, varied everything but to no avail. We even swapped for a worm in the margins as something was constantly harassing something. Ellis caught the culprit, a nice perch. 

I will need to review the boundaries as some other swim parameters seemed 'muddled'.

Some barbel were caught on the stretch today, it was full of anglers. Great to see on opening day! 

Let's not leave it until nearly a year until the next trip please Ellis!!

Twixtmas, 'Crimbo Limbo' or 'Feral Week',

Date fished 28/12/2025

7.30am until 1pm

After a busy Christmas, I ensured the southerners left Northumberland, then I was free to go fishing. 

A spur of the moment decision meant I grabbed one rod, the net (new), terminal tackle and a ball of Cheesepaste. I headed to a club water on the Swale. 

I have been in this club for over 10 years, but have decided to switch it up this year and join a different area to target. I am sure I will be back soon. 

Unfortunately today's trip was a blank, well a double blank, more on that at the end. 

I tried several swims and although the river was high, it was still clear and very low in some places (I didn't understand why). 

A mink popped it's head out several times whilst I fished in this swim. 

In one particular swim, three knocks on the rod resulted in no bait. Whether it was chub or crayfish  I will never know.  It was fairly mild, but I still relaxed with a hot drink whilst watching the non moving rod.

I met another angler on my way back to the car. He had lost one fish and he headed back over the swims, I had vacated. 

I headed to a local brewery after checking their opening hours to buy a crate of beer I have recently found. It really is amazing!! 

I parked up, walked to the brewery to find it shut. Checking the date again, I realised I had got confused as to what date it was.  Gotta love the post Christmas, pre New Year period!! Ffs.

Rupe's chub

This post is not about Rupe putting on weight, or indeed going to the gym or making some kind of protein milkshake concoction in my special beer glass. It's about him trying to catch a chub as I guaranteed him I could help him....

Its been a few trips in the making, starting some years ago (sept 2021) when we went to the Swale with my dad. Rupe caught a crayfish that day and declared that was a fish - Fishin' Impossible: Tired out

Then all subsequent Swale trips that were masked by grayling, trout or pike were actually chub trips too! There have been 4 blanks on the chub front. 

Fishin' Impossible: Junior anglers

Fishin' Impossible: Minn-ho ho ho

Fishin' Impossible: Dork hat

Fishin' Impossible: Catching salad

12/7/2025 - 90 mins

A hot day and evening meant we could not be arsed with driving to the Swale. 

Trying to buy a local day ticket was 'awkward' but we managed to visit the Tyne. 

Rupe fished meat and bread flake alternating for an hour and a half in the evening. It was certainly pleasant sat in the shade as the paddle boarders went up and down. No chub though!

A trip to the Swale end of July and it happened - 27/7 - 7am until 1pm

Well, it would of if it wasn't for dad to muck it up.  

We fished the Swale again, all three of us. Two rods. Meat and worm - the worm just got attacked by small stuff and the meat just sat. Eventually some local advice arrived and put us on the potential for a pull. Rupe crept into position and cast mid river, the flow took the bait under the tree and we waited. It wasn't long and the rod began to twitch, I was so excited I shouted at Rupe to strike. He obliged, but far too early and the chub was gone. I mean, it might have been a barbel - who knows. 

We kept on but nothing came back, another blank on the chub front, but a minnow, called Gary (obvs) got impaled on our hook. He went back strongly though. I swear, I will get Rupe to catch his chub this calendar year!

1/11/2025

7am until 10am

I woke Rupe up by switching his bedroom light on. We had agreed a gentle shake does not work and he usually goes back to sleep. Cup of tea, homemade sausage muffin and we were off. Wanting to put everything 'down by my feet' said rupe, I let him pack the car. 

We had not left Hexham and he was fiddling with the radio. November must mean one thing. Heart Xmas! Over an hour of nonsense, but we did get a spaceman and a fairytale! 

Travelling light it was a quick scamper to the river. It was high but fishable and looked good. We started in the swim we ended in last time and started to fish. The cheesepaste we made last night was ledgered on the crease towards the over hanging willows. 

Nothing here, we moved on. 

The sun was warm but blinding. we moved on. 

We came to my usual spot. I helped my dad and Tom catch their first Swale chubs from a particular peg. I tackled up a 7ft rod and shepherded Rupe to the swim. He has fished it before, but would today be different? 

"I've got one dad!" I heard, as I checked the photos on my phone. 

I scrambled down behind him, with a near useless net and scooped up his prize. For a first ever Chub, it looked a beauty! 

At 5lb exactly, we were both over the moon. We rested it and watched it slowly swim down and through the weed. 

Was there time for me to try in the first swim again, if I could only pry the rod out his hands!!??

Not a chance! 

Reely odd first fish

Date fished 20/6/2025

9.45am until 1.45pm

A red hot day, weekend, week, but I had the day booked off work. Once the kids left for school, I decided to jump in the car and try the Swale at Northallerton. 

I walked around a section that has changed 'again'. Ellis was telling me about the change, but I thought he meant the previous change as he had not been there for a while. I now realise he meant this change, and I agree Ellis. Its unrecognisable!! 

I am sure the fish would find new areas to live in the deep, fast currents. All I managed to do was realise I couldn't wade through as I usually did. 

I cast in a piece of hotdog sausage, am still trying to catch on this bait. The rod gave a slight twitch, I struck and a fish pulled back. It was a jagged fight, I soon realised why. A good sized eel had taken a liking go my sausage! 

I managed to unhook it, but not hold it for a pic. It really was a wriggly bugger. I needed some shade, so walked the long way round to the bank opposite. Finding a shady tree, I sat down and leisurely cast meat this tine against the far bank bush. 

A few minutes was all it took, the rod bouncing as the fish dived into the bush. It was snagged, I pulled, no luck. I took off the tension and left it for a minute, I could feel the fish still swimming about. Eventually, I gave a smooth sideways pull and the fish was out into the river. Quickly unhooked, photo and rested, it was away back to the bush before you knew it. I was happy. 

I walked to a few more swims and even fished mid river for a bit. No more fish, but the weather was getting a lot hotter. 

Sitting in my favourite spot, I threw in a couple of slices of bread. I was sure catching on floating bread would make everything OK. No fish found the bread, so I departed. 

Trusty sidekick

Date fished 17/6/2025

8am until 4.30pm

Prologue

In a fraction of a second, my rod was bent nearly double. Line was peeling off the reel, fish on! Unfortunately I noticed the line was caught around the ear of my rod rest. I picked up the rod but wasn't connected to the fish. I scrambled to free the line off the rest, this was hard as the fish was pulling! Suddenly, the hooklink snapped and my fish was gone. It was certainly a barbel, definitely a lost fish. Expletives followed!! 

A day guest with Ellis on the Swale was the second day of this season. Arriving at 7.30am it was much cooler. Cloud covered the sky and it had a little chill. We walked the whole beat as the last swim is good, of course there was someone fishing it. 

We settled on another swim with a large bush we could both cast towards. Lots of knocks, we assumed Ronnie and Reggie. Ellis deciding, when he had sorted his reel out, to fish the maggot feeder down the middle. Instant bites and a nice dace his blank saver.

The sun was now bright and getting much warmer. We walked back and saw some chub "partying" with eachother in the shallows. 

We soon found another swim where we both could sit and cast towards a deeper area by an overhanging bush. When I reeled in the luncheon meat, a large pike followed it in right to the bank. No pike gear was carried today though!! 

The bites started when the cloud came over. Suddenly getting darker, we assume the fish were more confident not being seen in the clear water. Both of us getting taps and rattles. We sat for a while and I needed to stretch my legs, I declared to Ellis I was off for a walk and his rod gave the tell tale sign. He played the fish towards the net deciding it was a barbel, then a chub and confirmed as a barbel when we saw it. 

6lb 2oz

It was a great fish and well deserved.

My bite as described above, came a short while later. I had already had a bite and struck far too early. We waited for another cloud coming over to top up the mole hill groundbait and the ever faithfull spicy sausage. Interest for sure to both of us, but the yawns were getting larger as the heat took hold and we decided to call it a day. 

I never did stretch the legs with a walk, but the landing, unhooking, weighing, pictures and resting all needed a trusty sidekick. 

Cba turns into pb

Date fished 14/3/2025

9.15am until 2pm

I had booked the last day of the river season off work and thought I would go fishing. The weather was looking ropey and it was to be a solo trip, maybe that is why I just could not be arsed! Unusual really as I love going fishing and usually the cba phrase is most used at work!! 

The night before, I had not sorted any kit or decided where to go. Even in the morning, I said to the kids I was not feeling it and cba.

Thermals on (top and long johns), I made breakfast and three packed lunches and eventually I was feeling in the mood. I set off and headed for the Swale at Morton, a club water.

I fished a swim where I had caught many chub, including my pb of 5lb 8oz on 29th October 2019. The sun was bright and I was annoyed I didn't pack properly, no sun glasses, no hat. I had the dork hat and a snood on as the wind was cold.

Annoyed, I left that swim after an hour. I headed upstream, the next peg I wanted to fish had a huge branch in it. Annoyed, I headed further upstream to an area I have probably only fished  less than a handful of times in my (maybe) 10 years of membership.

Second cast towards a raft by a fallen tree and I sat down to stew things over. The rod give a tap, then a wiggle. I picked it up. The drag spinning as the fish dived towards the raft, this was a battle. The flow was strong too but I finally got the fish towards me. I saw it in the clear water and it looked huge. I started to tremble. A few attempts and it was safely in the net. 

Of course you know the weight now, but I was hoping for a six, I was sure it would break my pb. At 6lb on the nose, I was buzzing!! 

The photos don't do it justice and I was begging for a dog walker to walk past to take a picture. No such luck, so it was self takes. What I may lack in photography, I make up in smiles!! 

I fished a little bit longer but as the rain fell, I was more than happy to pack up and head home. I was unlikely to top that! 

Four cars in the car park when I left, must be the last day of the season!! 

As I sit here, my son just text me to ask how my day went. 

I feel we both learnt a lesson here that you might not want to do something, but sometimes the benefits are sooooo worth it!! (I will remind him of this when it's GCSE revision Vs PS4).

6lb chub target - completed!! 🎯 

Game changer

Date fished 15/02/2025

7.15am until 1.15pm

Very cold conditions as I prepared for todays trip. Hill snow, rain and freezing fog. Two tears in a bucket...... (If you know the ending, well done) I was committed, so off I went. 

Leaving early, I parked up at 7.15am and was cast in a few minutes later. Choosing a swim right by the bridge, I have caught in here before. It looked different today. I assume the landowner has removed the tree, doing some bank works, it was very different, but the water looked good.

One rod, hand warmers, waterproof trousers being the game changer today! 

I got my steps in today and walked a fair bit, trying 15/20 mins in every likely looking swim. The chub were not playing ball, or maybe they were. I had no interest on the cheesepaste.

The bridge swim

Finally changing to maggot feeder, it was constant knocks. The first fish was a grayling, the second an out of season Trout, no pics. I value my life. 

I made the effective decision to deliver at pace and collaborating with myself headed upstream. My usual banker, that had not served me or Rupe well in recent visits. I sat on the cold wet ground and watched the rod tip.

I need not bothered, it went no where. The last swim of the day is an old favourite. My mate Giles had a good pike from here many years ago, I was not allowed to say where. So here it is. 

I thought about this as I sat in the swim. I wish I brought the pike rods. Constant taps on the maggot feeder but nothing materialised into a proper bite! 

Heading back to the car, I met Ellis and Carole, they were out on a shopping trip. It was nice to catch up and admire their clean wellies. We must do a parmo soon! 

Heading home I was glad I went out, but now I have had a few beers and some hot food. I am even more glad that I came home!! That's a game changer.